- It will make you more successful
- Improve your life in every aspect
- Help you lose weight
- Open the doors to whatever you want.
However it can also be:
- Incredibly painful.
- It will teach you a lesson that most don’t want to learn.
- It might make you angry.
- It might take some time before you can accept it
- But you’ll be a better person for doing so.
This is the skill will revolutionize your life:
It is the ability to accept Personal responsibility (Response-ability: Ability to control your response).
What most people do…
When something goes wrong, most people’s first instinct is to blame their bad luck, pass the blame on to others, or simply lament about their particular situation:
- If they’re overweight and unhealthy, they blame the fast food industry, the soda industry, the restaurant industry, their lack of time, or their genetics/parents.
- If they’re late to work, they blame the cars in front of them for not going faster or waiting too long at stop signs.
- If they’re in a job they hate that doesn’t pay them enough, they blame the economy or their boss for keeping them down.
- If they get turned down for a date or dumped, they blame the other person for being an idiot and not recognizing the amazing person in front of them.
It’s much easier to pass the blame and responsibility onto somebody else, so there’s no guilt necessary when no action is taken however if you know anything about sailing you that it doesn’t matter how the wind is blowing! What matters is the set of your sail! All these things we tend to blame are like the wind! Remember the song; “Anyway the wind blows its cooling me”
Accepting personal responsibility, seems far more painful however everything changes when we change our perspective. It requires us to made a paradigm shift – which isn’t easy. Once we stop pointing the finger of blam, there’s only one place to look: the mirror!
The man or woman in the mirror!
Why personal responsibility is king
Your present circumstances are the effecst of the causes you (not someone else) made in your past. The beautiful thing is that when you understand this it stands to reason also there, that where you will be in the future is determined by your actions or reactions in the present! In other words….you are in control. Now tell me this …….doesn’t this make you feel a hell of a lot better than thinking that you have no control over your future?
In life we have 2 choices:
- We can “play” now and “pay” later
- Or we can ‘pay” now and “play” later.
I personally much prefer the latter but its our choice!
Where you are RIGHT NOW in your life is a combination of decisions you’ve made, steps you’ve taken, and events that have occurred outside of your control. Although everything might not be your fault (sh** happens), it’s time to look at everything as if it were your personal responsibility to fix. Some people get to play this game of Life on easy, and others get stuck playing on legendary difficulty.
Some people lament that life is not fair! On the contrary I believe that life is fair and I like to tell myself “I am loving life and living large!” regardless of where I find myself..
Here’s why personal responsibility is so great: once you start accepting responsibility for your situation, you’ll realize that you don’t have to wait for anybody’s permission to make changes – nothing to wait for, nobody to ask. You can just…start. Immediately. Like right now.
And then the forces of the universe starts moving mountains on your behalf! Yes that’s how it works! Trust me on that…..
Because you are the reason that you are where you are, you ALSO get to be the reason that you move forward.
Adam Carolla – puts it like this:.“We can change. It’s the greatest thing about being a human being, and people squander it.”
So, once you accept the fact that everything is your responsibility to fix or improve (even if it’s not your own fault), there’s a tremendous opportunity for growth. When we can stop lamenting other people’s good luck and our bad luck, we begin to realize that luck has nothing to do with it! This great article by my friend Gary Arndt spells it out perfectly: “Why I’m not a lucky bastard.”
This is what separates successful people from those who are content to sit back and complain about their bad luck:
- They accept responsibility for being overweight and out of shape, and identify ways to start making changes to their daily habits that start to turn things around.
- They accept responsibility for their part of a failed relationship or less-than stellar interactions with meeting new people, and they identify ways to improve their social skills, work harder to make a better first impression, and take the time to analyze the type of person they really want to be with.
- They accept responsibility for being in a job they hate in which they don’t get paid enough, and they identify new skills they can learn or online courses they can take to make themselves more valuable. They’re okay with having that uncomfortable but necessary “I deserve a raise and here’s why” talk with their boss.
I challenge you today – leave a comment with one aspect of your life that you’ve been passing the blame on up until now, and one step you’re going to take today to start fixing it!
And if there’s an aspect of your life that’s jacked up,
Let me know how I can help!